Monthly Archives: February 2012

I Shaved My Legs for This?

Courtesy: Reuters

Angelina Jolie made big news for her awkward pose during this year’s Oscars. Now @AngiesRightLeg has more than 38 thousand followers (at the time of this post). I’m not a subscriber for a few reasons. First, who does that? If my wife walked into a room and dropped into the “athletic” stance with a slit up to her rib cage, we would be having a stern talk. It seemed a bit much!

Take that Angie!

My other issue with “the leg.” Look at how skinny that thing is! I thought a piece of angel hair pasta dropped out of her pocket. I should have known she would not have food on her. Angelina Jolie is a beautiful woman, but those bony legs are not her best asset. It’s the same reason I don’t wear a suit that shows off my hairy back. Anyway, here are some of my favorite pictures being floated around the internet on the issue.


Wild Weekend!

Courtesy: Jessica Sanchez (young and exciting)

While young, exciting people headed out to red carpets and clubs for All Star weekend, the Austins had a different plan. We ventured out to the Brevard Zoo for a day of wild fun. I realize how lame this may sound, but the idea of smoky clubs and deafening music makes this old man cringe. I can think of a range of Doctor’s appointments I would enjoy more. Anyway, we had a ball. Here were some of the highlights.

Addi and Olivia feeding a giraffe

There’s a place at the zoo where you can feed some majestic giraffes. The kids love watching the extremely long tongue snag a cracker. My favorite part came when the zoo worker explained the polygamist relationship happening behind the fence. One male, two ladies and a whole bunch of kids. Want more gossip? The ladies are related!

Crazy Spider Monkey Baby

The other part of the zoo you don’t want to miss is the spider monkey. This little guy found my kids as interesting as they found him. We could have watched him all day as he pounced on his worn out mother. Something about the situation reminded us of our own lives.

So, forget the soggy race and forget the star studded game. We enjoyed a day with much quieter creatures.  And, believe it or not we were not alone.

Taco Transition

Nothing is better than smashing two amazing things into to one delicious concoction. It’s like when pretty people get married and have an even better looking kid. It’s the same feeling an Italian once had when he accidentally dropped a meatball into spaghetti sauce. Taco Bell will soon give this a shot!

USA Today reports Taco Bell will change things up. Some of the big announcements include a Chipotle-ish Cantina, new breakfast options and  tacos in which the shell is pure unadulterated Dorito.

I have no idea how this will work out. But, I know a marriage between Dorito’s and tacos could prove to be more decadent than a bacon wrapped donut. If one of my children ever got a hold of a Dorito taco, I would need a HAZMAT crew to clean up the mess. Basically, I cannot wait to take one of these for a test drive! After eating, my face will probably look like Snooki lost a food fight.

The Taco Transition comes March 8th.

Behind the Kitchen Door

My new series begins this Thursday! It’s called “Behind the Kitchen Door.” We will take you inside local restaurants that have been inspected. Every restaurant you eat at gets looked over very carefully. But, you probably have no idea how they grade out on the inspection.

So, we will take their inspections and arrive at the restaurant. We will recognize restaurants who did well.. and the ones who have failed. Some have even been forced to shut down because of rat infestations or roaches. When you head out to eat, check out our website. It’s easy to find your favorite place at


Play On Gamer!

I could not help but chuckle when I found out this week’s MegaCon was hosting a speed dating event. All of the sudden visions of emaciated men with fake abs and thick glasses ran through my head faster than Han Solo ran the Kessel Run (I asked a geek for that analogy.. thanks Terry). But, then I paused. Here’s a fact.  Nerds have always been smarter than me. So, I looked online. It turns out these guys are on to something.

Apparently, for some unknown reason, beautiful woman turn up in droves to this event. They dress up as Princess Leia, Jessica Rabbit and Sailor Moon (whoever that is??). I don’t know if rich uber-geeks pay them to come, or if pretty girls just enjoy the people watching. Either way, they arrive scantily clad and willing to take a picture with any drooling computer programmer who asks.


My message to MegaCon enthusiasts, “Live long and prosper” because the high school weekends spent lonely and obscure are far behind you.

Getting Started

Matt AustinSo, I’m new to this whole blogging thing. I still cannot even spell Twutter, and I’m just trying to avoid posting nude pics of myself on my Facebook profile page. The good news, I write to you with pure intentions. My bosses are making me! I’m just kidding.. partially.

I’m a regular dude who happens to sit behind an anchor desk for 2.5 hours a day. When I leave my house at 3:00 am, I’m constantly worried about my two little girls and my hot wife. I treasure my job because I understand why the news is important. As a parent, I need to know about recalls, dangers and creepers who walk the streets. I find politicians fun because they’re often more dramatic than the Real Housewives of the Jersey Shore.

I’m excited to give you some behind the scenes looks at my gig.  I’ll also toss a few opinions out there that don’t obliterate my journalistic credibility. We’ll also “Chew the Fat” about being a dad, because I think getting puked on is hilarious.